


Keep the streets empty

by ardvari



Series: ever after [1]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 19:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10646856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardvari/pseuds/ardvari
Summary: It felt weird, packing her things for the last time. Earlier today she had handed over command to Colonel Kendrick after a month of working with her, walking her through the motions of commanding theHammond. It wasn’t going to be easy for the younger woman but then again, it hadn’t exactly been easy for her either.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this after thinking about how weird it must be to try and settle into a normal life after years on SG-1, as commander of Atlantis, and then on the _Hammond_.

_Memory comes when memory’s old_  
I am never the first to know  
Following the stream up North  
Where do people like us float?  
\- Fever Ray

 

It felt weird, packing her things for the last time. Earlier today she had handed over command to Colonel Kendrick after a month of working with her, walking her through the motions of commanding the Hammond. It wasn’t going to be easy for the younger woman but then again, it hadn’t exactly been easy for her either. 

Nothing had, not since she’d left SG-1, had taken command of the Atlantis expedition and had inadvertently become a pawn in someone else’s political game. No amount of reasoning, no amount of Jack trying to shield her had been able to prevent that. She didn’t regret the opportunities she’d gotten, her brief stint as commander of the SGC, having had command of the _Hammond_ for a couple of years. But all of those opportunities had come at a cost, and that was one thing she did regret. 

Walking through the ship, up to the bridge, she tried to shake herself out of her reverie. Kendrick smiled, her young face lighting up, making Sam wonder when exactly they’d started promoting teenagers to Colonels. Kendrick was brilliant, no doubt, and she’d been in the field for a couple of years on SG-8 to prove her worth, but underneath the veneer of Air Force officer there was still a young girl. A young girl having been ordered to fill shoes everybody doubted she could ever fill. 

“All packed, ma’am?” she asked, hands clasped behind her back.

“Told ya not to call me that, Colonel,” Sam smiled.

Kendrick smiled back, holding out her hand for Sam to shake. 

“We’ll miss ya up here,” she said, speaking for the rest of the crew as the ship lingered in Earth’s orbit. 

Sam nodded, there had been a big surprise farewell party yesterday, one that was partially to blame on Jack, no doubt. There’d even been a piñata. 

“You’ll do fine, Colonel. And I’ll be on the ground covering your six,” Sam said quietly. 

“I sure hope so.”

She was beamed directly down into the heart of Homeworld Security, surrounded by boxes and her duffel bag. Harriman smiled at her over the screen of his computer, already in the process of coordinating the _Hammond’s_ first interstellar flight under its new commander. 

“Well Carter, here you are,” Jack grinned.

“Here I am, sir,” she replied, smiling crookedly. 

“Ma’am, sir, the President’s waiting for you,” Harriman reminded them, watching Sam come to stand next to the General. 

He nodded, gesturing for her to follow him out to the car that would no doubt be waiting for them. She fell into step beside him, her heels clicking on the polished floors. She’d changed into her dress blues on the ship, aware that she wouldn’t have much time to change once she was on solid ground again. The next few weeks would be stressful, taking over command of Homeworld Security from Jack, working her way through the paperwork that had come with her promotion to General, with handing over the ship to Kendrick. 

Jack’s steps had grown lighter ever since he’d put in his resignation, as if the weight of the world no longer rested on his shoulders. She envied him for that, though he deserved it, more than anyone else. They’d talked about it half a year ago, a night spent to discuss options, to figure out where life could take them. It had been easy, according to Jack, to convince the President to hand over Homeworld Security to her. He’d thrown in her promotion as a bonus, something Jack swore up and down he’d had nothing to do with; reminding her that she deserved it.

Their chauffeur held the door open for them and she found herself sliding into the back seat after Jack, the leather cool against her skin. 

“So, how does it feel?” he asked, eyeing her carefully. 

“Weird. Good weird but… weird,” she said, furrowing her brow as she tried to work out exactly how she felt about being back on Earth permanently. 

“I know the feeling. You’ll be fine, Sam. Trust me.”

She nodded, reaching out her hand to him, smiling when he took it and squeezed gently. 

Of course the meeting with Hayes took longer than expected. By the time they climbed back into the waiting limousine, the sky was dark and a cool fall breeze sent a shiver down her spine. Somebody had probably already dropped off her private things at Jack’s apartment, leaving the boxes of files for her to sort when she officially took over Jack’s position on Monday. His suggestion to leave the _Hammond_ on a Friday had been a good one, giving her a weekend to settle in again. 

He ordered Chinese food on the drive home, knowing she’d die for General Tso’s chicken. The food on her ship had been equally as bad as the food at the SGC, which generally meant a large intake of blue jell-o and not much else. 

“Home sweet home,” he said, his tone mocking, when he pushed open the door to their apartment. 

She knew he hated the place and its Air Force décor, knew he couldn’t wait to look for a house now that she was here. They’d talked about that, too, about settling down somewhere now that she had a job that came as close to normal as anything ever would. 

“Not for long,” she grinned, pushing a couple of her boxes out of the way. 

Whoever had dropped them off had left them sitting in the middle of the hallway, perched precariously on top of each other. Thankfully nothing she’d brought was breakable, most of her electronic stuff now sitting at her new lab at Homeworld Security. 

“About that… You know how impatient I am. We could, if you wanted to, look at a couple of houses tomorrow. No pressure, if you’re not up for that we could…”

“Let’s do it,” she interrupted softly, coming to stand in front of him. 

He took her hands, held on to them as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. They’d waited for this for so long, had fought for this so hard. It had taken them eight years to finally start their relationship, another five to get to where they were now, on the same planet permanently. A waste of time, really, had the fate of the galaxy not depended on them. She wouldn’t have been able to get out any earlier, just like it had taken him years to leave the SGC behind and not feel the pull the Stargate still had on him. 

She was moving from an intergalactic key position to a desk job and he was pretty sure she’d be reeling for a while, longing for the thrill of her ship entering hyperspace, even the feeling of being demolecularized by the ‘gate. Pulling her closer, he wrapped his arms around her and buried his nose in her hair, breathing in the scent that had, for years, caused him to take extra deep breaths when she’d walked by. 

“You sure you’re okay?” he finally asked, his hands on her shoulders as he looked at her.

“I will be,” she answered, smiling wryly. 

Once she got used to sitting back on Earth while someone else out there risked their life, while Kendrick was off fighting the battles she’d fought for years. She would be okay eventually, when the thrill of a life in active duty faded, when she got used to hearing cars and sirens at night instead of the steady hum of the air conditioning on the _Hammond_. She was glad he was here, that he understood how she felt. 

“How’d you do it? Coming to Washington while we continued to go through the ‘gate?” 

“Badly. It’s tough Sam, sitting back and watching someone else go off to someplace, hoping they’ll come back alive. It’s tough knowing someone else is risking their life in the job you used to do yourself,” he explained. “But eventually you get used to it. You realize there are things you can do for those people here, trying to make their lives easier. And eventually, knowing that is enough.”

“It’ll take a while,” she said, looking down. 

“Yes, it will.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, felt her hand reach up to cup his cheek, guiding his mouth down to hers. It would probably take her years to stop wondering if she should have been out there still, if her presence would have made a difference. She wasn’t in this alone though, in this attempt at a normal life. He was there with her and that was really all that mattered in the long run.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why exactly he’d started digging a pond in the middle of November he didn’t know. Probably because he’d finished the platform for his telescope he’d built on the roof of their house, because he’d spent a lonely weekend at the cabin to get it ready for winter, because the dog knew how sit, and lay down, and roll, and he no longer chewed on the heels of Carter’s shoes. For all those reasons and about a dozen more he found himself in the backyard, hacking away at the frozen ground to make a pond.

_I was just guessing at numbers and figures  
Pulling the puzzles apart  
Questions of science, science and progress  
Do not speak as loud as my heart_  
\- Coldplay

 

Why exactly he’d started digging a pond in the middle of November he didn’t know. Probably because he’d finished the platform for his telescope he’d built on the roof of their house, because he’d spent a lonely weekend at the cabin to get it ready for winter, because the dog knew how sit, and lay down, and roll, and he no longer chewed on the heels of Carter’s shoes. For all those reasons and about a dozen more he found himself in the backyard, hacking away at the frozen ground to make a pond. 

His breath made wispy clouds in front of his face as he leaned on the shovel again, chipping away at the grass while the dog watched him. He’d named the dog Thor, arguing that Thor had once named a ship after him and he was now returning the favor. Oddly enough, the expression on Thor’s furry face matched that of his Asgard counterpart almost exactly. 

Looking back at his work, he sighed. He’d only been able to dig out a puddle so far, a barren spot of frozen dirt that mocked him. He threw the shovel down in frustration, wondering if Carter would bring home some C4 if he asked real nicely. Smirking at the mental image his thoughts provided, he walked towards the house. He could just picture her calibrating the amount of C4 needed to blow a hole into their backyard to satisfy his craving for a pond. 

Pulling off his gloves and jacket, he walked into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of beer out of the fridge and eyed the dog sitting at his feet. Though it had originally been his idea to get a dog, and even though she’d been opposed to it in the beginning, the dog’s heart belonged to her. Thor tolerated him, Thor listened to him, Thor allowed Jack to play with him. But never in a million years would Thor look at Jack the way he looked at Sam, adoration shining clear through his dark eyes. 

He couldn’t even blame the dog. He was pretty sure that same look stole into his own eyes now and again. Checking the clock above the stove, he wandered into the bathroom, setting his beer bottle on the sink before he started shedding his clothes. Maybe he could take her out for supper today instead of torturing her with another of his cooking attempts. He was trying, he really was, and she’d admitted to a smidgen of progress when it came to his cooking. Now if only his hand didn’t automatically seek out the beer bottle when things went pear shaped, maybe some of his dishes would be… okay. Less yeasty. 

Really, this whole retirement thing was hard; the cooking thing was the least of his problems. He wasn’t very good at sitting around. He wasn’t very good at waiting for her, at trying to fit into this normal lifestyle. While she was off coordinating the planet’s safety, he was… digging holes in their backyard. 

The water was almost scalding as it pounded his scalp, making him wince slightly until he grew used to the temperature. Blindly reaching for the shampoo, he rubbed some of it into his more-salt-than-pepper hair. 

At first retirement had been easy. It had involved long hours of mindlessly watching _The Simpsons_. After they’d moved into the house, he’d occupied himself with fixing it up, painting the rooms, building his platform on the roof. Gradually he’d run out of things to do, and while he’d only been retired for three months, he was starting to get bored. Hence his idea to dig a pond. 

At least the dog kept him company after Carter left the house in the mornings. She was still struggling with her new position, not that she’d have told him or anyone else that. She didn’t need to, he could tell by how thoughtful she was, her brain wrapping itself around the concept of being back on Earth. Of course the IOA played a vital part in her inability to leave work on time or spend the weekends away from her laptop. There was another good use for some C4, maybe enhanced by a little naquada. Blow up the IOA, blow up the back yard… blow up the IOA _in_ their back yard…

Smirking about his elaborate little fantasy, he didn’t hear her come in. Thor never barked when Carter came home, though he usually announced Jack’s arrival loudly. He jumped when she pulled away the shower curtain, exposing him to a gush of cold air. 

“Hey!” he exclaimed, turning away and glaring at her.

“Pshaw, as if I haven’t seen everything there’s to see of you,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Unbuttoning her dress shirt on the way back into the bedroom, she waved a hand through the air in some kind of dismissal. Washing the rest of the shampoo and soap off his body, he turned the water off and wrapped a towel around himself. He left wet footprints on the shower mat as he followed her, watching her peel off her skirt and pantyhose. Sitting on their bed in her underwear, she looked up at him tiredly. 

“I want steak. I _need_ steak, in fact,” she sighed.

“Read my mind.”

He smiled at her, waiting for her to smile back before he turned around in search of some clean clothes. He could feel her eyes on him as he got dressed, facing her when he buttoned his shirt.

“Like what you see General?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow at her.

“You know I do,” she replied quietly, winking at him before she pulled a shirt over her head and slipped into a pair of jeans. 

Undoing her braid, she ran her fingers through her hair before she bent down to scratch Thor’s fuzzy belly. The dog wagged his tail, ecstatic about the sudden attention he was getting. 

“C’mon Carter, let’s get you fed,” Jack said, pulling her to her feet. 

He still liked calling her Carter, mostly because calling her Sam still felt so new and raw, even though it had been five years since he’d stopped having to refer to her by her rank. She’d told him that she liked the way he said Carter now; that it sounded like a word wrapped in cotton and safe from harm.

Thor was left in the kitchen, where the chances of him destroying anything were slim to none, and his whines emphasized exactly how much he hated this arrangement. Driving the short distance to what had become one of their favorite restaurants; he held the door open for her. He slipped into the booth across from her, smiling to himself as he watched her relax, her head resting against the back of the booth. 

“How was work?”

“I had a meeting with the IOA,” she said, enough of an explanation to make him nod gravely. 

He’d warned her, had told her in minute detail the kind of stuff she’d have to deal with. She’d thought he was exaggerating at the time, had told him so on several occasions, now she knew he’d been exactly right.

“I had this fantasy earlier about shoving some explosives right into…”

“Are you ready to order?” the young waitress interrupted, pen perched over a piece of paper.

Sam giggled, nodding to the waitress while her eyes never left Jack’s. They ordered steaks and baked potatoes, and Jack knew that today would be a lava cake day by the look in her tired eyes.

“About those explosives, I had an idea…” he trailed off, gesturing with his hands.

“Uh oh,” she said, taking a sip of her diet soda.

“I kinda attempted digging a pond in the back yard.”

She gulped, stared at him for a moment and set her glass down.

“You’re aware of the fact that the ground’s frozen, right?” she asked.

One of the many reasons why he loved this woman so much was that she didn’t ask him why on god’s green Earth he was digging a pond. She didn’t have to; merely wanting to make sure he knew that this was probably the worst season for his endeavor. 

“Hence the explosives. Some C4 would really make this whole digging part go a lot faster.”

She snorted, shaking her head at him. 

“Right, I’ll get right on that,” she said sarcastically. 

Once their food came they ate in silence, the kind of silence that wrapped itself around them like a blanket, cushioning them comfortably and shielding them from the world. These were the moments that made up for all those times retirement drove him crazy. Sitting here with her, watching her as the tension left her body, as she started to relax in his presence. He’d probably finish digging the pond this winter, despite the frozen ground and the impending snow, and would have to find other stuff after that to keep him from losing his mind. When it came right down to it though, this was the life he’d worked towards, the life they’d both waited for. It wasn’t perfect but it was good, good enough for now.


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She pushed open the heavy doors to the rink, breathed in the scent of the ice, of hockey, of winter in a small town. Stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket, she walked through the empty upper hallway, pushed open another door and climbed down the stairs beside the colorful plastic seats.

_If I can make your heart feel always loved  
I’d give my whole world up for you to feel always loved  
If I can make your heart feel always joy  
I’d walk a thousand miles for you to feel always joy_  
\- Azure Ray

 

She pushed open the heavy doors to the rink, breathed in the scent of the ice, of hockey, of winter in a small town. Stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket, she walked through the empty upper hallway, pushed open another door and climbed down the stairs beside the colorful plastic seats. 

His kids were the only ones on the ice tonight, seven boys and three girls bundled up in thick jackets, chasing a puck across the ice. She smiled to herself, sat down in one of the uncomfortable seats and watched him as he yelled directions to the kids. 

He’d started coming to the rink after Christmas, had taken her along a couple of times even though her skating abilities were limited at best. Apparently he’d struck up a conversation with the guy that drove the zamboni and, long story short, he’d let himself be talked into teaching the kids’ hockey team. This was his fourth week as their coach and it was obvious they adored him. He adored them right back, all ten of them, proudly telling Sam they’d won their first game. 

She watched undetected for a while, until one of the little girls noticed her and pointed her out to Jack. His eyes locked on hers through the glass, across the ice, and he waved. She smiled, climbed down the last few stairs and came up to the railing that surrounded the rink. 

He called over his team, ten little Pillsbury dough people in their heavy outfits, and briefed them on the next game, handing out little slips of paper to give to their parents. She knew what they said; she’d printed them last night. 

“See ya all on Saturday,” he called, waving the kids off. 

They scattered like drops of mercury, some of them scurrying across the ice, chasing each other while others went straight to their waiting mothers. Jack skated up to her, a big grin plastered on his face. 

“What do you think?” he asked, resting his elbows on the railing.

“I think half these kids skate better than I ever will.” 

“Well… there’s hope for you yet,” he smirked, pressing his lips to hers. 

Taking on this team had made him happier, had prevented him from finishing his pond project in their backyard. It gave him something to do, a new purpose. She knew, had always known, that he wasn’t one to just sit around. Coaching these kids was perfect, making the long transition into a normal life easier on him. 

“Thor at home?” she asked, knowing that he sometimes brought the dog along for the kids to pet and fuss over. 

“Yep. Listen, I need to clean up here a bit. I made lasagna, it’s in the fridge. Just pop it in the oven, I’ll be home before it’s done.”

“You _made_ lasagna?” she asked, a disbelieving look on her face. 

“I found a recipe online and followed it _exactly_. It should be edible,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. 

She chuckled softly, nodded and leaned in to kiss him again. 

He was already collecting a variety of tennis balls and pucks off the ice by the time she reached the doors. Strangely enough, just like his new hobby helped him settle into his new life, it had also helped her settle into hers. 

Granted, the IOA continued to be a major hassle and she was barely in her lab anymore, reading up on other scientists’ reports of alien technology instead of working on new things herself. She missed the lab, missed studying new technology. Having replaced the lab work with stacks upon stacks of paperwork kept her busy though, along with coordinating the _Hammond’s_ flight schedule. Kendrick was, against the odds, doing remarkably well. She’d been on Earth for a couple of days last week, and Sam had seen the changes in the young woman. Her eyes had grown harder, her body leaner under the pressure of commanding a ship. She’d aged, losing the last few traces of someone who hadn’t quite grown into themselves yet. 

It happened to all of them, she knew that from experience. This job was tough, and it didn’t allow for mistakes of any kind. Either you cracked under the pressure, or you mastered it. Kendrick, apparently, had done the latter. 

Thankfully the drive from the rink to their house didn’t take long, despite the icy streets and the freshly fallen snow. Thor was ecstatic to see her, bounding around her, his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. She opened the glass doors to the back yard, watching him shoot past her like an arrow, kicking up snow as he ran along the fence line. 

Jack’s lasagna did look edible. It looked downright delicious, in fact. Pushing it into the oven, she set the temperature and the timer before she took off her jacket and wandered into the bedroom to change. She’d driven to the hockey rink right after she’d left Homeworld Security, having actually left work in time to see his kids play. In time to see him blossoming under a new task.

Every day, it seemed, they settled down a little more. Every day the pull of the universe lessened, though its mysteries still held her enthralled. She longed for some time to spare in her lab, studying, analyzing. She’d been born to solve scientific mysteries, to study the laws of physics and quantum theory, to challenge science and do things most people thought impossible. 

Now she was playing a small part in solving an intergalactic crisis, no longer defying physics, and she wasn’t doing impossible things, she was working with, and for, impossible people. Looking at herself in the mirror she knew that she was being unfair. She’d worked for this, she’d saved the planet countless times, and she’d risked her life. She was here now because everybody knew she deserved to be here. That after years in the field, years of being unsure whether or not she’d come home, whether there’d be enough left of the planet to come home to, she deserved to relax a little, let someone else save the world for a chance. She knew all that, and yet there were days when she felt like she’d been tossed out. 

Shaking her head, she walked back into the living room, grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch, flung it around her shoulders and stood by the doors to watch Thor play in the snow. The dog was digging up clumps of snow and frozen dirt, happily getting rid of some pent up energy. Whistling softly, she called him back inside, closed the doors again and stacked logs in the fireplace. 

By the time he got home, the scent of lasagna mingled with the scent of burning wood. She sat on the couch, a cup of tea in her hand, her laptop perched on her outstretched legs. Taking him as a bad example, she’d taken to resting her feet on the coffee table, next to a stack of science journals she occasionally read before bed. 

He sat down beside her, still wearing his fleece jacket, and looked at her. There was nothing she could hide from him, no thoughts he couldn’t decipher. He knew exactly what was going on in her head, and sometimes that made her feel vulnerable. He was her solid ground, the only thing in her life that didn’t shift. Sometimes she feared he’d be hurt by the things he saw in her eyes, the fatigue, the longing, the near-constant nagging thought that she was destined to be out there still, to be fighting for this planet instead of dealing with the paperwork, with the people, so that someone else could do just that. 

“You know I love you, right?” she asked quietly, closing her laptop. 

He picked up her hand from where it rested in her lap, held it between both of his.

“I do, Sam,” he said. 

Sam, not Carter, a sure sign that he was onto her, that once again he was reading her like an open book. 

“Maybe it would have been easier if I’d stayed at the SGC, they did offer me Landry’s position,” she whispered.

“It would’ve been just as hard. I’ve been there. Do you regret… this?” His voice had grown soft, his free hand gesticulating between them, trying to bridge the gap that separated them. 

“No, Jack. I don’t regret this, _us_. Never. I don’t regret my decision. But it’s hard, harder than I thought. I wish they’d just give me some time for lab work, some time to do something valuable for the people out there instead of those insane budget meetings that don’t get us anywhere,” she rambled, her voice growing louder, “Every day I argue with them and they just don’t _get_ it. They’ve never been out there; they’ve never seen the things we’ve seen. They have no clue what it feels like to be stuck on another planet, unsure if you’re ever going to make it home. And yet they keep cutting the SGC’s budget, they make it impossible to go after people, to rescue people, to make sure every single person gets a chance to come back home. It’s frustrating.”

“That’s exactly the reason why you’re here, Sam. You’re the only one that can make them see. You’re the voice of all the people currently out there. I know how frustrating it is, but you’re the one making the difference. Don’t think it’s a lost cause. Take a step back, give yourself some perspective. You’re doing a great job,” he said, turning her hand over in his and lifting it to his mouth so he could press a kiss into her palm. 

“Thank you,” she said quietly, her eyes shining.

He smiled at her wryly, running his thumb along her jawbone and across her lips.

“Always.”

The timer on the oven beeped, wedging its way into the moment. He leaned in, kissed her gently and helped her to her feet. She left the laptop on the coffee table and followed him into the kitchen. Normalcy, she thought, was nice when given some perspective, when knowing that she wasn’t alone in this.


	4. IIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesdays had made all the difference. He’d go so far as to say that Wednesdays had probably saved her sanity. A few months back, after a particularly lengthy meeting with the IOA, Sam had locked herself in her lab on a Wednesday, had worked on one of her beloved doohickeys all day, and had realized how much she truly missed the science aspect of her work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last part! :)

_I put my soul in what I do  
Last night I drew a funny man  
With dark eyes and a hanging tongue  
It goes way bad  
I never liked a sad look  
From someone who wants to be loved by you_  
\- Fever Ray

 

Wednesdays had made all the difference. He’d go so far as to say that Wednesdays had probably saved her sanity. A few months back, after a particularly lengthy meeting with the IOA, Sam had locked herself in her lab on a Wednesday, had worked on one of her beloved doohickeys all day, and had realized how much she truly missed the science aspect of her work.

She’d declared Wednesdays to be her science days, days she’d spend in her lab, leaving the paperwork on her desk untouched, not worrying about the IOA. Dr. Lee, thankfully, had jumped at the chance to send her things to take apart and figure out. 

She’d been happier since then, more grounded, less thoughtful. He loved watching her get ready on Wednesdays, pulling on a pair of BDUs instead of her dress blues, sweeping her hair up into one of those claw things he liked to play with sometimes. 

On Wednesdays she let him cook her breakfast, sat at the table with him. She took her motorbike to work then and he watched her off, standing on the front porch while the sound of her Harley retreated. 

There was more techno babble again, less self-doubt. Science had always just simply been her thing. Science was logical and predictable to her, it didn’t startle her, and she didn’t have to reason with it. It just was, and she’d learned to speak its language ages ago.

Sometimes she came home early on Wednesdays, sometimes he waited up for her until just before midnight, when she finally came home, eyes bright, excitedly telling him that whatever she’d been working on had finally relinquished all its secrets to her. 

Yep, he definitely liked Wednesdays. Wednesdays made the other weekdays bearable for her and he’d heard on more than one occasion (and through sources she knew nothing about), that she was doing an exceptional job. She’d taken the SGC’s budget discussion to a new level, had ensured that they had all the funds they needed. 

Last week she’d been up on the _Hammond_ , installing a few new programs while the ship circled the sun as close as the shield allowed. She’d brought the data back with her, had invited Dr. Lee to join her for the initial evaluations before she’d sent everything back to Nevada with him. 

That was the kind of stuff she lived for, the kind of stuff that made her mumble equations in her sleep. He found that endearing, the way she mumbled in her sleep. Sometimes she said his name, too. 

He was sitting by the pond, the one he’d finished digging after the ground had thawed. It wasn’t as big as he’d wanted it to be but they had finished it together one weekend, lining it, filling it, placing rocks around it. They’d bought a couple of gold fish, their orange bodies glittering as the sun hit the water. 

“There you are,” she called over to him, walking up to him with Thor circling her legs. 

She bumped her shoulder with his, smirked up at him as he contemplated the pond. 

“Penny for them?” she asked softly.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. She was still wearing the BDUs, reminding him of a younger version of her, with short hair and bent over a naquada reactor. Back then, when he’d come by her lab to distract her, she’d made his day by smiling at him. Back then, when that had been the only thing she was allowed to give him, he had hoped that one day that would change. That one day he’d wake up to her smile every morning.

“Just… thinking,” he said, gesturing around the yard with his free hand. 

She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. Thor sat by the edge of the pond, watching the two fish swim through the water, their bodies flashing brightly every now and then. 

“Been thinking, too,” she said, her voice hitching a little at the end.

“When do you ever _not_ think, Sam?” he teased, feeling her chuckle against his chest.

“Well… this time I wasn’t thinking about saving the planet. Or the IOA,” she explained. “This time I was thinking about something a little closer to home.”

“Me?”

She snorted, chuckling again. 

“I think I wanna stop taking birth control,” she said, let her statement hang between them while his brain tried to catch up to what she’d just said. 

“What… seriously?” he asked, unable to form a coherent sentence. 

He knew that she knew that he sucked in situations like this. The first five things his brain wanted his mouth to say were most likely going to be the wrong things entirely. She waited, let him process, sparing them both the misery of him stumbling through a mine field of words to find what he actually wanted to say. 

“Are you sure?” he finally managed, making her smile again.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure,” she grinned.

He stared at her, then back at the water, at Thor circling the pond. She knew about his past, about Charlie. One night just after Christmas they’d sat in front of the fireplace and he had told her all about his dead child. When they’d moved into this house, she’d been the one to unpack Charlie’s picture. She hadn’t asked him what he wanted to do with it, had grabbed a hammer and a nail, and had hung the picture up in their living room. _Charlie_ , Jack thought, _would have liked Sam._

“Okay,” he finally said, the end of the word curling up like Thor’s tail when he got really excited. 

With her, he could do this. With her, he could try again. At least he would try to try again. There was still a large amount of guilt over Charlie’s death on his part that he was fairly sure he wouldn’t ever be able to get over. Still, with her… his mind was already entertaining the possibility of a tiny Carter-O’Neill running through their life. 

“Okay?” she asked, her voice pulling him back to the here and now. 

“Yeah. I mean… let’s… do this,” he answered, wondering if there was an appropriate thing he should have said instead.

She giggled then, burying her face against his shirt.

“I love you,” he added, knowing that this was one of the things he could never go wrong with. 

“Love you, too. More than you know.”


End file.
